Hate Crime Scene Details

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Maltese CrossWhile living out of State, my daughter told me over the phone that she was having sexual contact with someone back home. The second time we talked, she said she couldn't talk about it because the phone was "too hot" to use. I notified authorities and couldn't get anything done by telephone, so I drove to deal with it in person.

On the way, as I was driving through my mother's retirement community, I saw a girl about 6-12 years old riding in an old classic convertible with a middle-aged driver on the right side of the front seat (the driver's side was on the right). As I met her gaze in passing, it looked like she was terrified - her body billowed in the wind with what seemed to be involuntary contractions. It was the first indication to me that something was seriously wrong.

I got a hotel room to consider the situation and after a couple good nights rest, stopped at my mother's place to say hello before I left. I heard thumping in a closet under the stairs, and wondered what was going on. My mother packed a lunch, and talked me into leaving my trunk full of belongings to save fuel. Her trucker boyfriend was there, and the van driven by her old boyfriend who I knew to be dangerous was parked in the yard, so I chose not to challenge the situation and left. Years later, I was given bits and pieces from the trunk in disarray.

The trucker gave me a slip of paper with a map and suggested I use the route he gave me to stay out of bad weather along the foothills of the mountains. I followed the map all night, and was exhausted by midmorning the next day. Pulling over for breakfast, I realized there was a laundry mat nearby, and took the opportunity to do my laundry as well. I put my wet clothes in the dryer, returned to my car to take a nap, and pulled a quilt over the dashboard to stay out of the sun. Still tired after waking up, I returned to the road I drove in on and realized that I had continued on to the east and was in Texas. So I went back to the junction where I did my laundry, and the North, by North East route back home.

Traveling during the early afternoon along the foothills, I noticed two dogs surveying carnage alongside the road. I pulled over, got out of my car, and videotaped what appeared to be the eviscerated remains of a small person. The tissue was still fresh. The blood draining from entrails had dried, but was running when they were placed. A triangular tear in the tissue of the lungs made it clear that the interior was still moist - green, but intact. They had not dried out, so they had not been there too long. There was no noticeable odor, but the two dogs were curious. A square torn out of a blue hospital gown with a circular Hospital Anesthesiologist logo on it, and a few tin cans laid beside. I video taped the evidence, put the cloth in the trunk, and drove on to find what I believe was the rest of the eviscerated body hung by the neck from a three pole ranch gate.

He, or she, looked like s/he had been hobbled, with socks on feet pointing straight down. Dressed in what looked like brand new clothes, but with smeared lipstick and mascara drawn like starbursts around open eyes, a silent scream passed out. Her open eyes gave me the impression that she might be still alive, but I just videotaped what looked like the remains from her plural cavity a few miles before - and, she seemed to be hanging by the twisted remains of her esophagus and digestive tract. So, though I was moved by the situation, the crime was clearly intentional, and may have been motivated by my own plan to report. She hung lightly, seeming to drift and spin, and haunting my gaze as I drove by.

Gates of Repentance for the Days of Awe
Gates of Repentance
Gates of Repentance

I had no working phone, but was gravely concerned about the situation, so with the videotape in hand, I drove on to get the information to the police. I stopped at a roadside bar to call 911. Perhaps because I wasn't clear or convincing, to my knowledge, no one responded. Drugged as usual on tranquilizers, and in a state of shock, I stopped to change my underwear several times, and when I did, I found bugs on my clothes in the trunk. Checking the blue square torn out of the hospital Anesthesiologist gown I found at the old location, I put it, and the other clothes with bugs on it into a dumpster at a lakeside campsite, and returned to my drive home.

And, while crossing a deep canyon, a howling of the wind buffeted me in the car, and a cloud of blackbirds descended on the horizon. An old grey pickup truck followed me through the foothills that may have had as it's passenger the same girl that seemed to warn me as I arrived in my Mother's retirement community, but this time with a heavy-set bearded middle aged man ( they turned towards the mountains on a side road before I found the remains). I also recall a Sheriff following me during a short period of drive away from the crime scene, perhaps as a result of my call after finding the remains, but, the only time I can't account for at all during my trip was a short nap just after I crossed the boarder from my Mother's retirement community.

That day, and the night before were strange. Flashes of light on the drive the night before on a desolate road, and a heavy dampness to my clothing while doing the laundry also indicated to me that something was really wrong. Please see: Log

When I returned, I talked to the Authorities about the allegations my daughter made over the phone, and did my best to relate what happened on the way over the years to anyone who would listen. It's clear to me now that my efforts were inadequate and perhaps misguided. My daughter may not have chosen to share this information publicly, though I did just by sharing it with Child Protection, and someone is clearly trying to avoid accountability for these crimes. What she shared with me was excitement about a permission normally denied by the women of my faith. Though an investigation into my allegations was conducted two years later, what I was told is that there was no one in the household who could've been the person she described. And, that no disclosure was made by her at the time of the investigation to confirm my report.

I am in no position to compete with Investigators on this case or any other, but I have done my best to do all I can to own my own behavior, and report all I know online, and in person. I've kept names out of these documents for the safety everyone concerned. While I still have unanswered questions, I can't presume to do the work of Law Enforcement, or lead an investigation. I have to rely upon the Rule of Law, and Law Enforcement to do it's job as it normally does. I've sought strength and guidance to address the damage that we live with, and found strength and inspiration from Orders, and Traditions like The Knights Hospitaller, who's obligations are reprinted here: Aspirations., but there's an ongoing effort to seek justice because we've been obstructed and disrupted in our effort to do so.